Sometimes I awake at night thinking about Sadie. Sadie was a golden retriever that I met my first year in the veterinary field. I was a kennel assistant at Prestonwood Pet Clinic. I was awesome at my job. I loved all the boarding dogs with all my heart even the ones I would consider "poop artists". Sadie was boarding about a week while her family went on vacation. I would take her on extra walks and give her extra attention. I'd hug and talk to her about my day and what was on my mind. One day, I noticed sadie having soft stool and then later would result in diarrhea, Tar like black stools, like coffee grounds. I alerted the lead technician and the doctor. They called the owner to approve for an exam and bloodwork. Owners declined treatment because of her old age and also if she indeed had a disease, they didnt want to know. Dr suspected cancer. I was very sad that they didn't want do any diagnostics. The next day, I came in on the morning shift to work with a technician, and we noticed a strong odor. It's a smell I'll never forget. I sometimes randomly smell that smell and I am reminded of Sadie. I walked in the kennel area and it was even more pungent. We went around looking for the source of smell. I went to go check on sadie. I'll never forget the scene as I try not to cry. I see my friend, Sadie, lying on the floor in lateral recombency, dry eyes wide open and vomit all around her, as well as diarrhea. She was cold and rigid as I've never seen anything. She was dead. She had died sometime in the early morning. She was alone. She died alone. After that moment, I promised myself and every animal that if I was to be there for their final moments, I would hold their paw, and tell them that everything will be okay and that they are loved.. Five years later.. I continue to do that. I will never let them be alone, I missed it with Sadie. I remember her every day, She makes me be a better veterinary technician. She makes me have the compassion and strength I have each day in healing little paws.
-Janel
